These are the best words describing what I feel. I’m 27 now and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never even dated a girl.
There were no serious problems with my personality, intelligence or appearance except I was always shy and maybe a kind of nerd. I knew a lot of girls, e.g. when I was at the university, I talked a lot to them, but they seemed to be so distant and unapproachable. No chance for anything more than a timid friendship. Once when I fell in love with a girl who was my friend for a few years and she noticed it, she became arrogant and suggested in many ways I should better stay away from her. Such a turn in her behavior was completely incomprehensible to me.
I have stopped with the fables and dreams that I’m ever gonna be able to find a girlfriend. I had a few episodes of depression during the last several years (that was not the only reason, of course), and, unfortunately, I’ve become an Internet addict. This addiction even started to ruin my life. I’m on antidepressant drugs all time, I go to a psychotherapist. I feel like a total loser.
I was thinking of a couple other people who wrote on the blog and write me and some comments I do not approve. But mostly it is about me. I mean I was going well in my career, working out, doing all kind of ‘cool’ things, but I was horribly lonely.
It was simple, I needed to find my princess and me wallowing and thinking why do these American girls just not click with me made perfect sense after I meet my wife. I was not to marry an American girl. My princess was waiting for me on the other side of the world. It was like the universe was pushing me to find my destiny and the more I ignored it the more I felt the pain.
I think this is similar to God’s law. They are real. People might not be aware of them or might choose to ignore them. Then when they have trouble in their lives they wonder what happened. Chances are it is connected to something the universe needs to teach them spiritually and they were not listening, so the universe comes back with a little stronger hint.
It is case and point with feeling alone. If you feel this way it is like the Bible says, ‘you leave your mother and father to go to your spouse’ and nature encouraging this. At least this is true in my case. I mean girls have the same thing. They want to be like Carrie Bangle and single in the city their whole lives with guys chasing them. Wrong. It is a bankrupt business model that has no future. Everyone needs someone.